As he passed through the doorway into the shop something about him felt familiar. His lean frame, disheveled hair, and slightly weathered face had bells of recognition ringing in my skull. He wasn’t there to see me though, he had come to get tattooed by my mentor.
As he waited for Donny, my mentor, to get prepared we chatted for a bit for he also thought he knew me from somewhere. We went over all of the standard reasons people know each other (high school, jobs, friends) and couldn’t quite place the reason we were feeling this way.
Donny was having difficulty getting the design just right for this clients tattoo and had grown a bit frustrated. He was trying to replicate the angel that was tattooed on the most famous soccer player in the world at that time, David Beckham, but needed it to be unique for this particular client.
The man was explaining to us that he once struggled with various types of substance abuse and this tattoo was going to represent his triumph, but continued battle, with the addiction that had changed his life.
Due to my shaved head and clean shaven face it seemed I was the perfect model for this fallen angel tattoo and Donny asked if he could take a photo of my bowed head to use a reference. I agreed, struck my best forlorn angel pose, and the drawing came together rather quickly after that.
As the man was getting tattooed we continued to chat and finally determined how we knew each other…a mutual friend’s lake house.
This mutual friend was actually one of my co-workers in the Narcotics Unit, but I didn’t advertise my profession at the shop, especially in this case.
When the tattoo was complete I took a look and saw my face permanently adorning the skin between his shoulder blades at the base of his neck. It was unmistakably me looking back at me.
We parted ways and the next day I returned to my other job. The friend that the man and I shared arrived at work and I began to explain my encounter. My co-worker interjected and exclaimed “You know him!” and I countered with “From the lake house”, but he replied “No, he’s the pharmacist you arrested from the hospital”.
My heart instantly dropped into my stomach and the look on my face must have alerted my coworker to the panic I was feeling.
My mind was spinning out of control as I considered this revelation. I was remembering the case of a pharmacist whose parents had contacted the Narcotics Unit to turn over a duffle bag full of prescription drugs their son had stolen from the hospital. He had become addicted to the pills he was dispensing and his parents were concerned for his safety as he was using massive quantities of them.
At the same time I was trying to reconcile the fact that my case had ruined this man’s life. They were choices he made, but the work I did cost him the job he had worked so hard to obtain and and also cost him his family. And now…this man had an unmistakable likeness of my face tattooed on his body.
At the time I found no humor in this unbelievable coincidence and begged my co-worker to never tell his friend about the connection between us.
As is always the case though, time marched on, beers were shared and eventually the man learned the truth. My co-worker explained to him that the face tattooed on his back was the face of the man who had arrested him.
The outcome of this conversation was not what I anticipated. I expected shock and disbelief. I expected the man to have the tattoo removed or covered up. The man however, having been through so much, accepted the truth with a sense of enlightenment that most people only hope to achieve.
He told my co-worker that nothing could be more appropriate than my face being that of the guardian angel on his body because my case, although it drastically altered his life, had also saved it. He knew that had he not been arrested he would have likely overdosed on the meds he was abusing. As it turns out, he was actually proud of the fact that I would always be with him.
As the years passed he and I became friends and I would get to put tattoos of my own on him. We laughed about the connection we shared and also realized how many other friends we had in common.
He lived a good life for a long time after his arrest, but eventually succumbed to the demons he once escaped. I was there for him once when he needed me and I am saddened that I wasn’t aware he needed me to be there a second time.
I keep that drawing of my face in a small shadow box above my tattoo station to this day. It’s not only there to remind me of my friend, but also to remind me that our actions, no matter how big or small, affect those around us in ways we may never have the opportunity to understand.
Joe, I hope your spirit is free my friend.
Sincerely, your guardian angel.